September 23, 2020 - Long Trail - Day 3 - Part 1

The Long Trail : Day 3 : Part 1 : 9/23/20 . I woke up to the alarm with a jolt. Today we needed to make more miles to get to our resupply box on time. The goal of this particular hike was supposed to be taking things slow and relaxing. However, I’m the queen of unnecessary expectations and once again I let them rule the day. Push harder, push longer, get the miles done. My internal mantra gave me a case of tunnel vision that cost me my joy. . I tried to focus on my surroundings. The wind blowing through trees making a sweet melody with the dancing leaves or the vibrant colors of the fall foliage bordering a beaver bog. I failed. Instead, all I could focus on was miles. How many had we done? How much daylight was left? How many more could we squeeze in before dark? . All the way up Stratton Mountain I pushed my body. Just a few more miles, a few more steps. So focused on time and miles, I stopped briefly to inhale trail mix and choked. I fought to regain my breath while coughing loud and feeling tears creep out of the corners of my eyes involuntarily. I needed to slow down. It was as if red flags were waving and bright red lights were flashing. I would like to tell you I paid attention to the warning signs. If I did I would be lying. Even the breathless coughing couldn’t ease my pace. . Why do I share this not so glamorous part of the story? Because I think it matters that you see my struggle. My constant battle with achievement, my drive to be better and faster and stronger. And also my battle of the mind that tells me I’ll never be enough. For me, in these moments, my recentering is always grace. Grace for myself, the kind I need in giant heaps and piles. And when I learn to give myself grace I’m better at giving it to those around me. I’ve learned grace from Jesus, who freely gave it to me when I deserved it least. . Friends, give yourself an extra measure of grace today. It’s not selfish. It’s one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and those around you! Also remember everyone else around you is doing the best they can with what they know. Let’s be gentle with each other. I’ll go first.